#i am so jealous you have no idea
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the true artist trekkie experience is trying to figure out how the fuck to draw Jim Kirk and getting repeatedly frustrated the more times you see people somehow do it flawlessly
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I really need to delve into digital art creation so I can make the little images in my head a reality like the rest of the delusional artists online
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A Brothers Reunion
The small summoning circle lit up, casting a soft green glow, as two eyes watched it with weary hope.
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Two demons argued violently about a soul, and Danny sighed from his spot on the throne that fully claimed him a month ago. While he still found it hilarious how thoroughly this guy managed to swindle so many of the high ranking demons, it had started to cross into annoying territory. Danny was seriously considering making a whole office dedicated specifically to hold all the paperwork one ‘John Constantine’ was seemingly generating with his very presence. Suddenly, Danny felt a soft tug on his core, much gentler then the summoning rituals of all those crazy cultists that keep popping out of nowhere used. More like the circles he gave to Sam Tucker or Jazz. But he could feel the summoner’s emotions, and the poor guy on the other end felt like he was about to cry.
Danny mentally went through everyone he’s given his personal line to. Then, he shot up and called for Fright Knight to send the demons away while Danny quickly allowed himself to be pulled through the summoning circle to where his brother waited anxiously.
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The circle flared, and a large eldrich like figure quickly crawled through. Then, a very familiar voice muttered
“Man I wish these things weren’t so dramatic. I already scared the shit out of the justice league because of it” as the being’s form shifted to the more familiar form he took when seeing Damian for the first time in a decade. His white hair looked a little longer now, and his eyes a less toxic green.
“Danyal” Damian said stiffly. Danny looked up, making eye contact with Damian before responding
“Damian” in response Damian lunged, pressing a blade to Danny’s neck before asking a question only Danny could answer.
“What’s the last story you told me?” Danny simply smiled nostalgically,
“There’s the Damian I know. I told you about Canis Minor 16 days before I died the first time.” Damian heasitated before putting away his weapon and paused before he quickly started to hug Danny, who returned the hug.
“… first time?” Damian asked, still in Danny’s arms.
“Mother didn’t tell you what happened to me after, did she?” Danny asked into his twins hair. Damian didn’t even bother to say anything and just turned his head to look at Danny balefully, before Danny sighed and said
“Of course she didn’t. I was dunked into the Lazarus pits, before mother dropped me off in the middle of nowhere America, where she forbade me from ever talking about my old life or ever attempting to contact you.” Damian paused to process this, before saying
“And the second time?” Danny sighed at that, his face set into a grimace. Damian started to move, bringing Danyal over to his bed, where Danny realized Damian had summoned Danny in his room. Damian sat them both onto his bed, and curled further into Danny’s arms, while gesturing to continue.
“I was adopted by a couple who claimed to be ‘ectobiologists’ who already had an older daughter named Jazz. She’s my sister.” Damian nodded solemnly at that, mentally adding ‘Jazz’ to his list of siblings. Danny pulled out his brick of a phone and started showing Damian pictures of his adoptive parents, his sister and everything else as he spoke about it. “They’d been working on a project in their lab since before they adopted me, longer then they’re had Jazz even. When I was fourteen, they finally tried to turn it on. It failed. It was a portal to what they called ‘The Ghost Zone’, but that realm is much more. The Infinite Realms are the glue that holds all universes together, and its a kind of afterlife. They didn’t know half of that, only that some souls of humans who died stay there, and even then, they thought that these ghosts were only a husk of their former selves, and couldn’t feel pain.” Damian started to connect the dots at that and asked
“You’re one of these ghosts?” It was almost a statement, but Damian wasn’t going to make many assumptions. Danny nodded before continuing
“I had two friends who convinced me to show them the failed portal. I walked inside of the portal we assumed was completely defunct, and I tripped over one of the many wires on the floor. When I tried to stabilize myself, I hit the on button.” Damian’s eyes widened, and he froze while Danny paused. After a moment, Danny continued, saying “My adoptive parents had connected the portal to the towns power grid, and the portal opened up on top of me. Electricity and ectoplasm, what ghosts and the Infinite Realms are made of, clashed inside my body, killing me and reviving me repeatedly until the portal finally spit me back out. I only half died that day.” Danny put his phone away and focused on playing with Damian’s hair. Damian reveled in his brothers affectionate touch like when they were small.
“Half?” Damian asks after a minute or two.
“Half. I technically have several ghost forms, and I have a human form” Damian looked up from Danyal’s arms, his eyes asking the obvious question he was a little afraid to ask, though he’d never admit it. Danny smiled at the unasked question, and rings of light formed around him, before dissipating and revealing a very much alive eighteen year old Danyal Nightingale. He grabbed one of Damian’s hands and pressed it against his neck, allowing Damian to revel in feeling his former dead brother’s pulse. Damian tested Danny’s wrist, and put his ear against Danny’s now warm chest.
Damian will deny the appearance of tears to his death, but Danny didn’t say anything, he just held Damian closer. After a while Danyal started to talk about the stars. Filling the silence with quiet but passionate rambling about stars and space. It was familiar. It was safe and warm and then Richard ruined the moment by slamming open Damian’s door yelling about a ‘Family Game Night’ and got a knife for his troubles. Of course he dodged with practiced ease, but then he realized Damian wasn’t alone in his room. Time seemed to freeze at the stand off. Dick had frozen, as the joy on his face seemed to leach away at the realization that there was an intruder.
#sorry for the cliffhanger#I have no idea what else to write#You can tell who’s pov is being focused on by how people are referred to#didn’t even realize I was doing it till like half way through#dpxdc#demon twins au#demon twins#be fed foul creatures#seems y’all like what awful concoctions I make so here#feel free to use as inspo#I would like credit if only so I can tell and be so happy that my work has inspired more#I am chronically online so I’ll probably see it#unless it’s on twi- I mean X#it’s a disease and I don’t have my shots#also yes Dick is indeed jealous of this rando being able to hold Damian and give him affection without the threat of bodily harm lmao
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in the subject of tgcf x yizhan endorsement overlapping. the original one i made is too long already if i reblog, so making a new one to add to that list. i know collab is the better term for tgcf but you all know hualian are celebrities so endorsement it is!
Swordman Mobile / KFC / Miniso / Zhenguoli / OPPO / Wangbaobao
and now let’s add Cotti Coffee. ☕️
#yizhan#bjyx#my hualian as yizhan agenda is not gonna die EVER#hualian#tgcf#I AM SO JEALOUS YOU HAVE NO IDEA OMG WHY WONT THE CC WHERE IM FROM HAVE NO STUFF LIKE THIS UGHHHHHHHHHH
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not lance reposting the joe doing the griddy video on HIS story with a bunch of laughing emojis!
#i am SOOOO curious about their relationship#i know that lance and tee follow each other and have been in pictures/on stream together#but like. what is the dynamic like between joe and lance??#because in Normal Football World. there would be zero reason for the star QB to interact with some practice squad corner#(if he's even on the practice squad at this point!)#but when that seemingly insignificant player is the oldest friend of of that star qb's bestie/boyfriend/life partner??#do you think they're JEALOUS of each other???#do you think it's awkward because they both claim a different but significant portion of ja'marr's heart??#do you think it's totally fine and normal but also like they each have Opinions of each other#that they may or may not share with ja'marr#i have spent many nights pondering this#the idea of all the undrafted rookies showing up for training camp#barely acknowledged by joe. because again. why would he. he is a god they are ants etc etc (mean but that's the normal dynamic!)#but joe going out of his way to talk to lance because he's so important to ja'marr??#and therefore important to joe#joe wanting to know the parts of ja'marr he wasn't around to see when they were kids??#joe threatened by an undrafted guy??#ja'marr wasn't there for most of OTAs/voluntary stuff right??#so would the other guys have no idea what was going on lmao#ANYWAY. i'm just rambling at this point#it was very cute that lance thinks joe's griddy is so funny.#they probably are friends. if not super close or anything#:')#lance robinson#^i think i'm the only one in this tag
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hai!!!!
i know you've already confirmed doing minor what ifs, but have you ever planned or thought of doing a longer one for a happy ending?
(im sorry for asking but these two make me mentally ill in the best way posible. )
The what ifs will be pretty well sized so hopefully they'll scratch the itch for y'all. My goal with the ending is also to make it kind of optimistic to empower other folks who want to write fanfic to give it a shot and make their own content too. I just love the idea of being able to make a positive impact with this story and to embolden others to let their own creativity run free. Plus I'd be cheering if there was a list of "works inspired by" that could sit at the end of the story when it's finished. That way the story (that a lot of people seem to really dig) can live on in everyone's interpretations of it!
#I'm happy just to put my own interpretation out there and im extra happy that ppl like it#but in the ever growing world of Billford i want my interpretation to be just one of many#im so excited to see everyone make their own nuanced take on the pairing#and while i can see ppl are enjoying the fic its never meant to be any authority on how folks look at the pairing#its just one lens through which it gets examined#i am super keen to read other billford fics when this fic is done too#as i have abstained from reading other fics since someone got it into their head to accuse me of plagiarism#i know how serious plagiarism is and i debunked the claims it was probably just a younger author being possessive of the characters#and jealous of the attention being drawn away from their story when my fic was starting up#but the whole accusation really jarred me so i haven't read any other billford while writing my fic#i am so excited to get to pour through the other stories in the tag when this fic is done#you have no idea how exciting the prospect is#and since the what ifs will all be contained within my fics universe i should be fine to start reading fics once kmky finishes#i am so keen to see what other people have written so best believe I'll be asking for fic recs haha#but if other people write stuff inspired by the fic i will be there cheering you on!!#kind of a long ramble in the tags but im just so excited about the prospect of ppl writing their own stuff#this is blanket permission for anyone whos read the fic and wanted to write something for it btw#and pls link it on ao3 if you do so i can show it to everyone!!
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a once in a lifetime miracle: oc art!! this is Shiva.
doodles from a month or so, but i cant really draw properly right now. but i wanted to do something meanwhile so i colored these :33
#oc art#i would explain a bit about Shiva but i think its way funnier if leave these images here without any context#it is up for you to guess what this thing is meant to be and what it's thinking#anyway about my drawing predictment this month#IT IS ART FIGHT MONTH and IM JEALOUS!! IM JEALOUS!!! want to participate SO BAD but i can't so i had to make SOMETHING#even if it was coloring month old doodles because i cant reallt draw properly rigjt now😞#my body knows its art fight month and taunts me by making my hands hurt more than usual😭#and the flood is coming too and its like... you know what?? you can't draw now we say no#the uterus says no the hormones say no#so i cant really draw properly even outside of artfight right now BWUAHHH😭😭😭 please be patient#a bit sad because this is the second year i cant participate over this YET TO BE CLINICALLY DIAGNOSED PERSISTANT PAIN OF 2 YEARS#((glance at medical system i hate the medical system here its so bad might as well have lit money on fire by this point😭))#BUT ANYWAY I AM STILL FULL OF IDEAS THOUGH#SO ONCE THE FLOOD IS OVER I HAVE AN IDEA OF WHAT TO DO!!!!! i just cant get my brain to work properly right now WWW#so do not worry... you will all be fed... I'll survive the hand pain of july🩷... HOPEFULLY DUNNO HOW TO TURN IT DOWN A BIT#please pray for the daily body pains to be lowered to their usual level so i can use my hands again once the flood is over thank you😊
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i will never forget the time I was hanging out with two other people who were new friends and they were like "let's do a sonic fandub" and one of them started looking up sonic game footage on youtube for us to dub while we discussed who would speak for who and we decided I'd voice tails. But also I knew nothing about sonic at the time, i'd only seen the snapcube fandubs because I'd heard they were good and funny, I didn't know the plot or characters very well. I couldn't remember what they sounded like so while the other two started to say silly things in sonic and amy's voices I asked "what does tails sound like again?" And I was laughing because I was embarrassed and also shocked by how quickly they had started commiting to the bit of trying to do some voice acting and my friend just said "he sounds like a twink" and I could not stop laughing and I could not take the idea seriously and I just told them that I couldn't do the voice oops. And so we moved onto a different topic pretty quickly and just enjoyed the pizza we had while we waited for our other three friends to get back from the store
anyways all of this is to say that Tails is NOT a twink, he is an 8 year old little boy and my friend was misguided.
#Can you tell that I'm mentally unwell and also that I had a falling out with these friends and also that I miss them dearly#I actually went to see the sonic 3 movie today on christmas day and I saw a group of people that I know- one guy in the group was one of#The three that was at the store while we were doing the dub. I had a falling out with all five of those friends after that.#That day was really great. It was like a year ago now. I feel like that was the first time where I was really vulnerable with friends#And I had never been so honest about my interests and thoughts before with a group of people and it. It was nice. But after that day it...#I think it was all my fault. Or at least mostly my fault. I was honest with them but no one else#So I couldn't accept the truth of myself and I wasn't ready for everyone i know to know me that way so I tried to hide it and ignore it#And in doing so I stopped being honest with them and I started avoiding them. And I regret it. I could have just been a weirdo with them#I could have spent every tuesday afternoon hanging out and talking about life with them over pizza. But instead I ran away.#And of course they kept asking about me and wondering why I was being weird but I couldn't face it. And I kept running away#And they kept trying to chase after me. I even left for like two months and completely went no contact and no explanation#But then I came back because I had nowhere else to go and it... it was so awkward. It was too much. And now I'm overthinking#everything. I was so jealous of them. All of them. And when I got to be friend with them it was too much for me. My brain couldn't accept i#I'm not allowed to be happy unless it's in secret. That's what my brain thinks#That's the mantra I've been living by recently. For like the past 3-5 years. That's just how I was raised I suppose#Um. Oops I ranted too much in the tags. Sorry if you read all of this. But also thank you if you did. I hope you're well#Rant in tags#rant#personal#Why is this literally just my journal. Goodness gracious#I'm so sorry. Everything I post here is like completely dumb and irrelevant and stupid and pointless and matters very little.#I am just mentally unwell and I can barely think clearly. I am sorry. I hope you look elsewhere for actually important or meaningful words#Dang I just had a dramatic soundtrack melody start playing in my head but I have no idea where this song is from or what it's called. Damn
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um shes also my beloved mutual
WHY AM I JUST NOW SEEING THIS
#so sorry first of all#but i read like the first half of the article before they asked me to subscribe#and wow#someone made an entire article about the commonality of my name 😭 like i need a reminder#but THIS IS ALSO SO FUNNY#like yeah guys pls mention the very popular former one direction fan blogger named emily 😕😕#cause i am The Emily#also fun fact my name is SUPER common but i actually have never had to share a class with an emily or even had an emily in my graduating#class#which i am very grateful for!!#also i’m abt to send a pic to you that i took like a few weeks ago but forgot to show you#and something funny is that my mom HATES when i bring up how i don’t like having a basic name#which is valid#but she’s always like ugh you have no idea how hard it is to figure out what to name your child#and then says she got my name from a book …#and her goal was to name me and my sisters all names of Irish origin#(we don’t even know if we’re irish)#and she thought emily was but it’s literally not 😭#however my sister’s names both are so 👏👏 2/3 pretty solid#and they also have mildly unique names i’m totally not jealous#betsy boop#ask#love you sorry for missing this
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we should normalize any and all friend cuddles no matter how clingy and intimate they seem we should make that an extremely normal friend thing to do
#squishy talks too much#who want me in their lap like a super annoying weird cat but we’re not dating#i think that SOME FRIENDS have normalized this and i’m so jealous bc#i don’t have any friends irl i could cuddle#i mean i have some i could ask but. TOOSCARYTOOSCARYTOOSCARY#why is everything cool associated with romance#bc the idea of dating anyone makes me *fork in garbage disposal noises*#i don’t consider myself fully aro i just umm. i UMMM#anyways welcome to the depths of my brain sorry it will happen again#edit: ALSO MAKE IT NORMAL TO BE TOUCH AVERSE#i love you guys i am your complete opposite but you are valid and i love you
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YWNBAM. you are a delusional yaoi-obsessed heterosexual woman.
you will never be a real biological homosexual male :)
yawn. come up with a better way to insult me. ur boring. i hope someday you find love in your heart and figure out why you're so angry.
who said i wanted to be a "biological" man? i have never wished to be cis i love being transsexual
#the cis gay men who r begging to fuck me think differently lol#fr tho this is the least upsetting thing you could've said to me#r u jealous? is that it? r u jealous im a hot gay man and ur ugly and sad?#go to therapy babe#also if i dont tell people im trans they literally have no idea so i am completely unaffected by this#asks#anon#tw transphobia
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hrmmmm
#i may have a problem#how do u like. stop being a jealous person#and before i say anything else - i am fully aware how ugly this part of me is#anyways the thing is i cant do the 'theyre my friend and im happy for them!!!' thing cuz they're not my friend#and im just like. THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME. WHAT U R GETTING SHOULD HAVE BEEN MINE AND U R NOT DESERVING OF IT.#i dunno. maybe its just because i cant socialize and am creatively bankrupt. which i am#or rather maybe i think i deserve a reward for the shit ass life i've had to live and it needs to be made up to me somehow#i know how it sounds dont fuckin speech bubble this shit#everyone should be praising me respecting me wanting me to be around desperate to be my friend#hyperbole ^ but you get the idea#like come onnnnn... i swear im so much cooler and have way better takes and am worthy of notice etc etc etc#idk man i need to have my brain altered or something. maybe get lobotomized. make me more pleasant and less self-aware#collapses to the floor like walter white#WHATEVERRRR MAN WHATEVER#there are the nice parts of me and the bad parts of me which need to be carefully removed with a scalpel
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sorry to keep posting about my job but [farnsworth voice] great news everyone! im working significantly less hours next week (or according to the schedule i looked at five seconds ago its not up in the app yet) so ill be back on the writing grindset. my preferred grindset.
#love the paycheck i get but i wanna write not be sludge when i get home#if i could make writing x reader fanfic a full time job i would#maybe one day i’ll actually write a book but fanfic is infinitely more fun#if my schedule turns out to be busy next week you WILL be hearing from me#i keep putting off writing the hiwthi chapter because its one of those ones that i have absolutely no ideas just a concept for it#and its the chapter RIGHT before the horror bros are introduced and im like man i just wanna intro the horror bros NOW#but i must remain steadfast to my papyrus and sans skateboarding chapter#the slice of life is slice of lifing#i have SO much planned for the beach episode#its like a sitcom#stuff happens. blue gets jealous. stretch is awkward. lord is neurotic. and red is mad again#and scooters just like. damn one bruh after the other#theyre surrounded by fools which is funny because they jingle just as much#nemesis & nike is trucking im excited for what ive affectionately dubbed the Eye Moment#and so my garden grows WILL get an update i am just flying by the seat of my pants on that one#there is absolutely zero planning just vibes and i need to change that#and the first chapter of weapons wrapped in lamb skin has been rewritten#ive just been debating on deleting the og or not#because i know its kind of a shit move to delete fics but i dont wwnna orphan it and also i HAAAAAATE it#idk if anyone actually reads this nonsense lmk#anyway byyyyyyeeee rambling again
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realising i need to do like 3 hour train journey after (presumably) nae sleep with massive heavy bags full of clothes and presents AND with no noise cancelling headphones. It may be over for me.
#HATE how i am physically incapable of ignoring any sound ever#like i dont under how anyone can like read on public transport im so insanely jealous you have no idea#me reading on the train is Rereading the same page for half an houe cos i keep accidentally listening to some randos phonecall
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Doing the laundry. Realising there's something deeply and inherently wrong with me. Shrugging and continuing to dig around for the Perfect Clothespin. Something something adulting
#it's like. the amount of people who have called me cruel or implied i am cruel throughout my life#multiple people across many years and all agreeing on the fact that i'm cruel#i do my best to be kind and nice and i'm like certain i have empathy#but sometimes i'll say something so. normal? and instantly get called cruel#and not that i believe there's smth inherently wrong with me bc of that#but because i just. cannot understand /how/ or /why/ i'm supposedly cruel#like ''oh you'd date someone you don't like romantically? that's cruel'' i don't understand how?#granted i now know i was referring to a qpr like connection but i still don't get it because i did say if i like a person enough i don't#have to like them romantically to date them. and i don't understand how that's cruel#and all of my ideas on interpersonal relationships. in kindergarden i get called cruel by an auntie because i said i don't value#friendships to an idealistic and unrealistic degree and years later i get called cruel because i say i don't mind#not talking to someone if her friend is jealous and she gave her an ultimatum. i still don't get how i was cruel in trying to compromise#and literally seeing that i don't even matter as much to the girl in question like i'm doing you a favour here you got an ULTIMATUM#but whatever. i don't know. i don't get it at all#maybe i just have a problem of never seeing my own faults. but it's not that i'm ignoring it#it's like. i don't /understand/ at all????
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call me delusional but i believe tomshiv is endgame no matter what
#tom is gonna burn every bridge#and then he's gonna take a nap#and shiv is gonna leave her pregnancy test out for him to find#and he's gonna ask a question and she's going to be like. so what if i am#and they're gonna take a breather#and realize that well. there it is#a permanent bound that can't be simplified#it can't be anything less than what it is#it can't be just an open marriage (which is fine because if someone cheats its not bad. no risk)#it can't just be this small thing#its just tom#we have a deal#but i can't look you in the eye when i do see other people#and i get jealous about the idea of models and positions#it's not just money#like ratting her out to her dad#it's not just survival by oneself#what's sustainable as a team?#luckily for them strategizing is their foreplay#and in that way it wouldn't surprise me if their revolt against the theme of the show#against their own history#would be driving to the clinic together#no succession#this is it this is all it will ever be#shiv doesnt have to be a mother#tom doesn't get tethered in save from his love to her#and they get right back to their plan#AGAINNNN i am delusional#but bear in mind that a few things i wrote for them DID end up becoming canon so.#maybe im crazy in a tapped in way
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